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Many nights at the dinner table he would just stare off into space, often without speaking he was usually too tired, depressed, or withdrawn to talk to anyone. My husband kept his sexual addiction hidden for the first 16 years of our marriage, but as time went on his demeanor changed and we knew something was seriously wrong. I had no reason not to believe them or my husband, after all, he went to church every week, had taught Sunday school for years, and read his bible and prayed often. I asked some of my Christian friends if they thought I should be concerned, and they didn’t see a reason for concern, saying they thought it was just an isolated incident. I can’t wish the scene in front of me away, and I hear myself say, “What are you doing!?” Startled, he jumps up and looks at me angrily, as if I were an intruder in his fantasy world… then his expression quickly changes to one of guilt, and he mumbles “uhhh, I was channel surfing and accidentally ran into the Playboy channel.”Īt the time, I hadn’t heard of “sex addiction” and didn’t know that many Christian men were struggling with porn no one at church talked about it. My husband doesn’t know I’m standing 10 feet behind him. This can’t be happening… I stand there, frozen in shock and horror, unable to move. Just as I’m about to ask him what he’s watching, it hits me he’s staring at the scrambled images of naked women on the Playboy channel – in our living room!
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I’ll go ask if he wants to talk or pray.” I walk into the living room and see my husband sitting on the floor, staring at scrambled images on the television screen. I think to myself, “he must not be able to sleep… he’s probably worried about work. Late one night a few months later, the sound of the television in the living room wakes me up. “Huh, what’s that? I’m sorry, honey… tell me again?” My daughter turns to ask her dad a question about the score, but his eyes are glued to the TV.ĭad, I just asked you who was winning! Did you hear me? The game comes back on, or rather the cheerleaders do….the camera focuses on a barely dressed blonde bombshell. The football game is on TV, the snacks are on the coffee table, and my husband and our 13-year-old daughter are lounging in chairs during a commercial break. My husband kept his sexual addiction hidden for the first 16 years of our marriage and he is now my ex-husband. This is the story of my husband’s sex addiction. Discovering my husband’s sexual addiction